The First Day of My 59th Year

A weird thing happened today, i was going through my emails and i opened the one pertaining to the last day of my 21 day gratitude challenge.  The question was,"If today was the last day of your life, what would you do?"  Interesting question as today is the first day of my last year in my 50's.  The email was about procrastination and five regrets dying people have.  The first regret deals with staying true to self.  These days i am really trying to think wwjd (what would jeanne do). i am a bit surprised that often people get mad at me.  i never deliberately set out to hurt anyone but i do.  So the first thing i would do is try to talk with people i've hurt in any way and i would apologize.  The people who i call friends i sincerely love; so i would never hurt them.  If i hurt people it's usually an oversight on my part-nothing deliberate. I wish I didn't work so hard.     This is the second regret . i do work hard but i really enjoy teaching kids and i get a lot of satisfaction from it. i've made lots of great friends and acquaintances from work, it's a social thing for me.  i was always able to be around for Gianna and we tried to give her our time, love and resources SO no regrets about working.   I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelingsThe next regret was about expressing my feelings-Now i don't usually have a hard time telling people what i think but, first i would thank my husband Felix.  i would tell him he's been a wonderful father, husband.  i would thank him for how hard he's worked to take care of us and i would thank him for all the fun times we've had together; all the great vacations, all the inspiring religious events  we've been involved in and all the ways he's tried to help, comfort console and love me and Gianna.  i would tell Gianna i am very proud of the young mother she has become and thank her for the beautiful gift of Francisco.  I would hold that beautiful baby in my arms all day long and look at his beautiful face. i would thank my friends for all their support,advice and love.  i would reminisce about all the times we spent laughing, crying and living together. i would thank GOD for the gift of faith he gave me.  i would thank some wonderful priests who helped me through some of the saddest, hardest times of my life.. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends   

i have met some wonderful people in my life and i feel true friends stay in touch whether on Facebook, email or phone.  i have lost touch with some people but for the most part i am extremely satisfied with the people who are in my life now, no regrets.  You see, i feel i am right where GOD wants me to be.  There is great peace remembering this. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

i don't agree with this last regret at all.  Yes, i have wasted a lot of time being unhappy,anxious and depressed but; if it wasn't for the lows i would not appreciate and cherish the highs.  Do i worry? YES!  Did i stay in touch with every friend i've ever had?NO. To wrap this up if today was the last day of my life i'd want My family, friends dogs and Father Hank around so i could say my goodbyes.  it would be a beautiful day and i would leave a happy blessed woman.